One thing I have had to do that has also been a decent distraction from reality is buy clothing. A year and a half ago, I moved to northern France from Los Angeles. With one suitcase. (And two cats.)
One of the few things I brought with me were two pairs of shorts. Unfortunately, one of the pair is more of a sitting at home with butt cheeks hanging out kind of deal, and the others were worn through last summer to where the fabric was just sort of disintegrating. RIP shorts.
Now, as we head towards warmer months again, I figured I should get some shorts to wear. I have been exclusively shopping only in reasonably priced second-hand shops in France with the occasional reach to another European country. So a lot of the time I am translating sizes and descriptions, squinting at photos, and hoping for the best.
From the photos, description and price ($30), I assumed these shorts were some sort of crush velvet/corduroy type fabric. I was mistaken.
Why do my feet look so weird? 
Seriously, what is going on? 
So weird.
These are real, heavy-ass leather suede shorts with satin lining. They are adorable and from the 1980s (so said the seller, there’s no tags) and somehow fit me perfectly, and yet – I have questions.
Who wears leather shorts? Why would you wear leather shorts? What can you do in leather shorts? Where do you wear leather shorts? When do you wear leather shorts? What percentage of suede leather shorts ownership is the result of accidental online purchase? Why would you want to make a flappy-flappy noise when you walk? Do you think the cow who died for this would be disappointed if I didn’t wear them about, or do you think they consider wearing their skin to be rude?
I’ll try to keep this post updated for when I decide to leave the house in them.
