I don’t know what oddities went into my upbringing that lead me to the path I took. I only know that I never looked up to anyone. I had no “role models”. The closest we could maybe get is Sailor Moon. And I don’t think she counts, since she is a fictional character that I did not confuse for real.
There were no pop stars or presidents on my walls. No fan club memberships. No one I could look to and say was someone I wanted to be like. I didn’t want to be like anyone, really. This isn’t to say I didn’t like things. I liked films, actors, bands, TV shows, authors; I just never thought of people as anything more than people.
Idolatry is a fair thing for the bible to rail against except in that context idolatry is worshiping anything but god so the argument against idolatry is actually an argument for it when you want people to worship something but only the something you want them to worship. We can take the god out of this definition and just say it’s bad to worship things. To idolize them. We don’t need to replace the god part. Or if we do, replace it with something like humanity or kittens or something. You can worship kittens if you want. As long as you do it respectfully.
Am I the default, or an anomaly? Is looking up to someone a defective holdover from young childhood where you are given a biological reason to emulate and follow those more powerful around you? Is it a natural reaction to an imbalance of power? A survival adaptation to inequality? Does idolizing have a moral worth? Is it good in moderation or net evil? Does idolization beget idolization and make you more vulnerable to it the more you fall into it? Is it better or worse to worship kittens or satan or love or death or Margo Martindale or the Loch Ness Monster?
The human tendency to idolize seems to be a fairly universal. You either are someone or knows someone who idolizes others, usually someone higher up on the hierarchy ladder of privilege. Celebrity worship is a thing. The line between positive and negative obsession with someone is non-existent because there is no amount of obsession that is okay. So idolizing something even a little bit is probably bad? I’ll argue there are gray areas. Like kittens. Gray kitten areas.
Would you like to join the cult of small, grey kittens?
I’ve always liked myself enough that I didn’t think other people were something to aspire to. This may be (most definitely is) the side effect of being thin, white, and blonde. I never had to work for liking myself very much. I still had bad programming, but it was far easier to uninstall than it is for most. Because I looked like Sailor Moon.
Just remember this is all metaphorical when the idol you have to kill is inevitably you.
Except the Sailor Moon part. Sailor Moon is canonically older than me so I could probably get away with saying I look like Sailor Moon in the present tense. I won’t. But I could.
