I’ve had It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia in rotation on my TV/computer for many months. My puppy has grown up on it (I figured it was good desensitization to screaming white people). I’m one of those people who needs TV shows on all the time. Music maybe sometimes, films once and a while, but mostly I want endless episodes of things I’ve already seen playing in the background of my all waking hours inside he house aside from bedtime when I switch to audiobooks.
Since I needed something not inner-brain-terror based to write due to, you know, I figured ranking every episode of a long-running show I like by my personal taste would be a fun exercise. It turns out, it’s actually very difficult to rank 162 episodes of television? The tops and bottoms are easy, but the middle is just one big mess of “I liked this, but not my favorite.” So take that into account as you wade through that muck. I’ve commented only on the bottom and top 10.
These are ranked by my subjective opinion of joy and rewatchability. They are not at all ranked by best written, directed, or some other quasi-measurable metric. I do not dare wax philosophical or attempt a critical analysis of each episodes effective social commentary. This is just a list. For fun. Please don’t fight me.
The Bottom 10
#162: “The Gang Makes Paddy’s Great Again”
Despite the amazing Dennis sex doll, this episode is just the worst. I don’t even know why. It just is.
#161: “Sweet Dee’s Dating a Retarded Person”
Sadly, the birth of The Nightman is the B story of this really not-so-very-enjoyable episode. Even Glen is embarrassed by the title.
#160: “The Gang Cracks the Liberty Bell”
Another “I’m not sure why I don’t like it but I don’t like it” episode.
#159: “Bums: Making a Mess All Over the City”
Even Agent Jack Bauer, the junkyard cat could not make this super fun for me. Maybe I’d like it more if I’d seen Serpico.
#158: “The Gang Hits the Slopes”
This was like a horror movie for me. I don’t know why. Like, it’s a good episode? Maybe ski movies killed my parents or something.
#157: “Who Pooped the Bed?”
I really hate poop.
#156: “A Cricket’s Tale”
I’m sorry, David Hornsby. I just don’t want to watch you.
#155: “Frank’s Brother”
I should like this more considering Lance Reddick, but even he could not save this one.
#154: “The Gang Gets a New Member”
Fuck Schmity. Is that how you spell it? Don’t care.
#153: “Pop-Pop: The Final Solution”
Meh.
#152: “The Gang Group Dates”
I know this one isn’t great because I always have to look up what it was about past the title.
The Middle 142
#151: “The Gang Gives Back”
#150: “Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad”
#149: “The Gang Goes Jihad”
#148: “The Gang Runs for Office”
#147: “The Gang Finds a Dead Guy”
#146: “Psycho Pete Returns”
#145: “The Gang Sells Out”
#144: “The Gang Goes to Hell”
#143: “The Gang Gets Racist”
#142: “How Mac Got Fat”
#141: “Paddy’s Has a Jumper”
#140: “The World Series Defense”
#139: “The Gang Exploits a Miracle”
#138: “Dennis and Dee’s Mom Is Dead”
#137: “Charlie Wants an Abortion”
#136: “Mac Kills His Dad”
#135: “Gun Fever”
#134: “Mac’s Big Break”
#133: “Gun Fever Too: Still Hot”
#132: “Mac Fights Gay Marriage”
#131: “The Gang Makes Lethal Weapon 6”
#130: “Charlie Has Cancer”
#129: “Frank’s Back in Business”
#128: “The Gang Makes Lethal Weapon 7”
#127: “The Gang Gets Romantic”
#126: “The Gang Escapes”
#125: “The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis”
#124: “Mac and Dennis Break Up”
#123: “The Gang Carries a Corpse Up a Mountain”
#122: “The Waitress Is Getting Married”
#121: “The Great Recession”
#120: “Dennis Gets Divorced”
#119: “The Gang Chokes”
#118: “Sweet Dee Gets Audited”
#117: “Frank Reynolds’ Little Beauties”
#116: “Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody’s Ass”
#115: “Hero or Hate Crime?”
#114: “Frank Sets Sweet Dee on Fire”
#113: “McPoyle vs. Ponderosa: The Trial of the Century”
#112: “The Gang Exploits the Mortgage Crisis”
#111: “Frank Falls Out the Window”
#110: “The Gang Recycles Their Trash”
#109: “The Gang Finds a Dumpster Baby”
#108: “Mac and Charlie Die (Part 2)”
#107: “Mac and Charlie Die (Part 1)”
#106: “Mac Day”
#105: “The Janitor Always Mops Twice”
#104: “Mac’s Banging the Waitress”
#103: “The Gang Goes to Hell: Part Two”
#102: “Dennis Looks Like a Registered Sex Offender”
#101: “Mac Is a Serial Killer”
#100: “The Gang Spies Like U.S.”
#99: “Charlie’s Mom Has Cancer”
#98: “The Gang Gets Analyzed”
#97: “The Gang Tends Bar”
#96: “Charlie Got Molested”
#95: “The Gang Misses the Boat”
#94: “Charlie Catches a Leprechaun”
#93: “Wolf Cola: A Public Relations Nightmare”
#92: “The Aluminum Monster vs. Fatty Magoo”
#91: “The High School Reunion”
#90: “Frank Retires”
#89: “Paddy’s Pub: The Worst Bar in Philadelphia”
#88: “The Gang Gets Whacked (Part 2)”
#87: “The Gang Gets Whacked (Part 1)”
#86: “Mac and Charlie: White Trash”
#85: “The ANTI-Social Network”
#84: “2020: A Year In Review”
#83: “Mac and Charlie Write a Movie”
#82: “The Gang Buys a Roller Rink”
#81: “Dennis’ Double Life”
#80: “Waiting for Big Mo”
#79: “Dee Sinks in a Bog”
#78: “The Gang’s Still in Ireland”
#77: “The Gang Goes to Ireland”
#76: “Charlie Gets Crippled”
#75: “The Gang Wins the Big Game”
#74: “Dee Reynolds: Shaping America’s Youth”
#73: “A Woman’s Right to Chop”
#72: “The Gang Replaces Dee With a Monkey”
#71: “Dee Gives Birth”
#70: “The Gang Solves Global Warming”
#69: “Charlie Kelly: King of the Rats”
#68: “The Gang Solves the Bathroom Problem”
#67: “The Gang Reignites the Rivalry”
#66: “The Gang Hits the Road”
#65: “Sweet Dee Has a Heart Attack”
#64: “The Gang Squashes Their Beefs”
#63: “Charlie’s Home Alone”
#62: “The Gang Wrestles for the Troops”
#61: “The Gang Does a Clip Show”
#60: “America’s Next Top Paddy’s Billboard Model Contest”
#59: “Underage Drinking: A National Concern”
#58: “Thunder Gun 4: Maximum Cool”
#57: “The Gang Saves the Day”
#56: “The Gang Solves the North Korea Situation”
#55: “Dee Made a Smut Film”
#54: “Mac and Dennis Buy a Timeshare”
#53: “Mac Bangs Dennis’ Mom”
#52: “Mac’s Mom Burns Her House Down”
#51: “The Gang Dines Out”
#50: “The Gang Gets Extreme: Home Makeover Edition”
#49: “Frank’s Pretty Woman”
#48: “The Storm of the Century”
#47: “Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life”
#46: “Making Dennis Reynolds a Murderer”
#45: “Charlie and Dee Find Love”
#44: “Ass Kickers United: Mac and Charlie Join a Cult”
#43: “The Gang Tries Desperately to Win an Award”
#42 + #41 : “A Very Sunny Christmas”
#40: “The Gang Beats Boggs”
#39: “The Gang Beats Boggs: Ladies’ Reboot”
#38: “PTSDee”
#37: “Paddy’s Pub: Home of the Original Kitten Mittens”
#36: “Mac Finds His Pride”
#35: “Mac & Dennis Move to the Suburbs”
#34: “Being Frank”
#33: “The Gang Gets Quarantined”
#32: “The Gang Goes on Family Fight”
#31: “The Gang Gets Stranded in the Woods”
#30: “The Gang Broke Dee”
#29: “Old Lady House: A Situation Comedy”
#28: “Mac and Dennis: Manhunters”
#27: “Thunder Gun Express”
#26: “The High School Reunion Part 2: The Gang’s Revenge”
#25: “Time’s Up for the Gang”
#24: “The Gang Gets Invincible”
#23: “The Maureen Ponderosa Wedding Massacre”
#22: “Charlie Rules the World”
#21: “The Gang Texts”
#20: “Reynolds vs. Reynolds: The Cereal Defense”
#19: “Chardee MacDennis 2: Electric Boogaloo”
#18: “The Gang Goes to the Jersey Shore”
#17: “The Gang Gets Trapped”
#16: “Hundred Dollar Baby”
#15: “The D.E.N.N.I.S. System”
#14: “The Gang Dances Their Asses Off”
#13: “Dee Day”
#12: “Flowers for Charlie”
#11: “Chardee MacDennis: The Game of Games”
The Top 10
#10: “Dennis and Dee Go on Welfare”
OH BABY YOU, YOU GOT WHAT I NEED.
#9: “The Gang Buys a Boat”
I didn’t want to use gifs, but I have to for this one.
#8: “Charlie Work”
Perfect Charlie episode.
#7: “The Gang Goes to a Water Park”
I always got confused and thought that Dave Benioff and DB Weiss wrote this episode because they have cameos as water park employees, but they in fact wrote a different episode (Flowers For Charlie). Thank you, other writer. This one was even better.
#6: “The Gang Gets New Wheels”
I think of every episode ever made of this show, this one was maybe the one that actually surprised me? The escalation over 3 acts is just stunning. Perhaps the darkest episode ever? Dee commits statutory rape? Mac and Charlie beat up multiple children, possibly murdering at least one? Just pure joy.
#5: “The Gang Gives Frank an Intervention”
Danny DeVito deserves many awards for this performance. Also, 🐌.
#4: “The Gang Gets Held Hostage”
A perfect McPoyle episode.
#3: “The Gang Turns Black”
My second-favorite musical episode. I love musicals, and I love Danny DeVito singing about how he wants to sing the n-word.
#2: “Who Got Dee Pregnant?”
My favorite non-musical episode. Which says a lot, because I am super horny for musicals. If you do not laugh at the ostrich bit, I’m sorry for whatever happened to you. Also, Jimmi Simpson’s “you will call heeerrrrr!!” yell is why I could not watch Westworld and take it seriously.
#1: “The Nightman Cometh”
As much as it hurts to not put “Who Got Dee Pregnant?” as number one, “The Nightman Cometh” must win
I’ll update with the new season. Maybe. If I remember.
I might do this for other shows if I need another brain break.
I love TV.
